As some of you may know I am writing a book for kinship foster carers, with a working title of ‘Difficult Endings’. During my counselling training, we explored our emotions and feelings around endings. Endings could mean a range of things, from being made redundant to finishing a good book. I once knew someone who would not finish a book they were enjoying, so that way it never ended. I also knew a couple of people who would read the ending shortly after getting into a book, so they would know what they were investing in. But we can’t press pause on time and we don’t know what the future holds when we invest in something.

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Writing a book

I have wanted to write a book for more than 20 years and this year I decided to go for it after seeing Joshua Sprague’s 30 day challenge (link). So I have two more chapters to write (first draft) and I am at the stage of choosing a title. This involved putting a poll out on social media, this was an interesting experience because in doing this I have left the comfort of my known friend and acquaintance group. But then I think I felt the same when I published my first blog and later my first magazine article.

My experience of my ending as a kinship foster carer was not something I thought I was going to write a book about, I actually thought I was going to write a fictional book for the longest time. However this advert jumped out at me, as if my soul said, come on its time. I had my usual concern about spending money, I didn’t know who Josh was. Well google him then. I followed his coaching and by day 2 I had my book idea. I spoke to a few friends about their gut reaction to the book idea and ran with it. One friend said she hadn’t heard of the term ‘kinship foster carer’ before and after we spoke she turned on the TV to hear a reporter say that very term. She text to say it was a sign. Its actually signs that I wanted to write about, but not yet, not now.

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Warp and weft

It is a soggy Sunday morning but a calm one. The October morning sun is casting its pale light across all things, soothing nature from yesterdays indignant weather. This is a moment of bliss, and my intention is to keep it that way. This process of literary expression needs to be organic I have decided, not forced. So, I have remained observant of events and conversations around me since last we communed. I have remained mindful of my thoughts and reflections and this morning I realise the message is friendships.

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What’s in a label?

Testing, testing 1,2,3 comma nope… ok so I’m going to give this Google Docs thing a go and speak my thoughts as its Friday evening I am both tired and yet deeply contemplative at the moment. The thing about us, and I’m talking in particular about those of us who have had adventures, who have tested the waters, who have stepped before they are truly ready, afterwards, who are we? Are we heroes? Are we losers? Are we gurus? Or are we something else again? Personally I feel like whatever the labels are, telling me who I am, they have lost their stickiness. I’m not quite civilian and I’m not quite a soldier, I’m not quite a northerner and not quite a southerner, not exactly rich and not exactly poor, and it seems I am not quite enunciating these words in a manner becoming of Google (massive spellchecking and re wording going on tomorrow!). The point being labels are only good if the life you’ve led is simple enough to accommodate them and still allow your authentic self to be seen.  The more complex your life becomes, the more labels are stuck onto you and before long all you are is a walking label fest in the shape of a human, the real you can’t be seen at all.

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My cauldron of musings

It is getting on for late afternoon as I crank up the laptop, sat outside in the garden, the gentle September breeze cools the suns heat on my black leggings. I try to ignore the cat casually licking her bum on the garden sofa next to me. I was reading Bruce Lipton’s ‘The Biology of Belief’ until a thought floated into my easily distracted mind. If I’m writing a blog, surely its readers deserve to know from whence these musings spring forth?

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Who Am I? Big Question

Intros, facets and labels

Oh, where to begin with an introduction? A traditional good old-fashioned introduction in literary terms that is, and yet I do not fit that ‘old fashioned’ bill, never have, never will. I would even go as far as to say I have renounced ‘old fashioned’, musty, cabbage smelling muted in colour and personality, who wants that?! Nope. I embrace the new, the newer than me even – I am not old, but I am not young either and I have never truly felt my age. I am, at my very core a good person with a penchant for lie in’s, interesting clothes, quality food (cooked by someone else) and intuitive tech. I have an innate ability to pick the most expensive thing in the shop without looking at the price tag, this is unfortunate as I can usually neither afford them nor their ‘not quite as shiny’ cheaper counterparts.

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Under pressure…

Some time ago, I was watching Magicians and there was a scene where the actors sang Under Pressure by Queen/David Bowie (Season 3, episode 9). For the first time I really heard the lyrics, perhaps because the words were sung by different people in a slightly more emphasised way as they each had a line or perhaps they just resonated with how I was feeling. I wanted to write a blog there and then, but I held back and in doing so created a block for a few months. What held me back was how to write what I needed to say without going into other peoples stories, or being too detailed with my own. Then lock down happened and change was upon the whole planet, not just on my doorstep, so it paled into insignificance. Turns out a challenge for everyone right now is to seek crystaline truth, shine light on shadows and to speak up…

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Gratitude Attitude

I launched a ‘Grateful for‘ challenge to seven people in May 2019 for a year. Nine people joined the challenge and by Dec 2019 some opted to leave at the six month point, having had various degrees of success in terms of using gratutide to change the brain’s natural negative bias. Four people remained this year, and from those four, three managed a catch up in our last time period (Jan – Feb). Photographs had not been as frequently sent and those responding reflected that ‘grateful-for’ photographs were tougher to submit when times felt negative or dark, and events in Jan and Feb had felt this way. As everyone is fully aware, just a month after this catch up, the UK joined the rest of the world in a lock down to slow down the spread of the corona virus spreading within the population. Mirroring Jan and Feb there has been a very limited amount of photographs submitted by our volunteers in Mar and Apr so I felt that they may be finding things tough right now. So for our Mar-Apr ‘catch up’ blog I am sharing a gratitude attitude with them and our readers, from an inspirational woman who takes lemons and makes lemonade, metaphorically and literally, and in this blog medicinally in the form of a hot brew.

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Drop the bog rolls and support your immune system

This information came to me via a homeopathic friend and I wished to get it out a bit further than those I have email addresses for…

2020 Immunity Protocols by Caroline Gaskin

There are few scientific papers on COVID-19 so information here is based on the clinical information I have gathered to date (5th March 2020) and is intended to support your immune function during an acute cold, cough or flu. Homeopaths look at the actual symptoms and how disease is for you. We don’t just prescribe on the name of the disease. We look at the individual’s susceptibility to disease, family history and life choices. This information helps differentiate between themany hundreds of cold and flu remedies in our pharmacy. Theremedies I describe here are readily availableand have shown themselves to be of servicefor hundreds of years for these symptoms.

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Sub-personalities, the titanic and the supermarket

I work in a supermarket and since coronavirus hit the UK, in terms of the general public being aware, was about February time. If it was the titanic film, it would be the part perhaps where Rose and Jack see the iceberg and observe people playing football with chunks of ice that had fallen on the deck. How serious is this really?

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